Viper's Super Fantastic Platinum Nuzlocke Adventure
by JORTENDO
Summary: Viper heads to the Sinnoh region ready to fuck people's shit up
1. A Sort of new adventure

Rules: Catch a new Pokemon in a new area if you fuck up, move on unless it is a duplicate or a shiny

If a Pokemon dies, put it in the box forever, unless their HMs are needed.

Unlimited items and pokemon center visits.

Professor Rowan slowly faded into sight "Welcome to the world of-"

"Girl, Viper" Viper interrupted. "Give me that Turtwig, so I can name it Brick and be on my way."

"Are you a boy or a girl?" Rowan asked.

Viper started to walk away from Rowan. "Come on, Brick. We're going to Lake Verity."

"OK." Said Brick.

"Holy shit! I can talk to Pokémon." Viper gasped excitedly.

"Actually, it's _us_ who can talk; Some Bidoof had to blow the whole thing."

"Oh. Well, let's go then."

"Take your rival for this region with you." Said Rowan.

"My name is Chris!" The blond boy shouted eagerly. "Yeah, we're going to get legendaries!"

"Don't count on it kid. They will probably eat you."

At the lakefront, Viper and Chris noticed a middle aged man staring out at the lake.

"Space, time, it'll all be mine; my name is Cyrus, and I am not suspicious." He said as he left.

"He looked kind of suspicious." Said Chris.

"He said he wasn't suspicious. God, weren't you listening?"

After the ungodly annoying process of getting the Pokedex, Viper went back to the lake. There, she effortlessly caught a Starly… that died in ten minutes. I won't go into detail; just think Attack on Titan meets The Exorcist.

"Wow. That was pathetic… in the box you go."

On route 202…

"Man I hope I catch a Shinx." Viper started to blush and sway around. "They are so cute and cuddly and I just want to-"

"Hi there." Shouted a Bidoof, interrupting Viper, who froze in place in pure rage, but still kept smiling.

"Your name is slave."

In Jubilife city, Viper noticed a man in a trench coat hiding behind a lamppost. Which is just silly in real life; people can see you, so don't try it.

"Hello, sir, may I ask what you are doing?"

"I am looking for suspicious activity. Would you agree stealing is wrong?"

"Yes, but what if-"

"That's right! Stealing is wrong! I am a member if the international police."

"So that must mean that you're the only cop in the world?"

"Yes. It's kind of stressful, really; everyone else wants to be trainers."

On route 204, Viper tried a second time to catch a Shinx.

"OK, Brick one more tackle should do it. This Shinx will be the powerhouse of- "

"Killed it." Said Brick.

"…Goddammit."

In Ravaged cave viper caught a zubat named slash.

"People may not like you, but at least you evolve into a decent speed demon."

Route 203, Shinx attempt number three. Status: Successful.

"Yaay! Your name is jet."

65 hours of grinding later…

"OK guys…" Viper said sleepily. "Time for a gym battle."

"Shouldn't you sleep first?" Asked slave.

"Shut up slave." Said viper before passing out.


	2. silly outfits and hair

"That was the best night's sleep I've ever had!" Viper yawned.

"You were asleep for three days." Said Jet. "I almost ate Slave; the only thing that saved him was you waking up."

"Oh, what a shame." Viper sighed with disinterest. "Don't do it again; he probably would taste bad anyway, and I don't want you to get sick."

"Why do you hate me?" Slave asked.

"Because Bidoof is the shittiest Pokémon ever; the only thing you're good for is HM slavery. Even your evolution is a pitiful eyesore."

"B-but, people don't like Zubat."

"True, but at least they evolve into something decent."

Now, without further ado, Viper entered the Oreburgh gym.

"Welcome! This is the Oreburgh Pokémon Gym! I'm Roark, the Gym Leader! I'm but one Trainer who decided to walk proudly with Rock-type Pokémon! As the Gym Leader, I need to see your potential as a trainer. And, I'll need to see the toughness of the Pokémon that battle with you!"

"Rock types, huh? Think you can handle this, Brick?"

"Hell yeah! I'm tired of killing Bidoofs, and I'm way over leveled."

"All right then let's go!"

Viper easily defeated Roark without giving him a single chance to attack.

"This is embarrassing... I went and lost to a Trainer who didn't have a single Gym Badge…"

"Actually, I've been to a few other regions."

"Well, since you put it that way, it's not so bad. Take this badge."

"Yeah, Come here brick so I can hug you."

"Ok, but you won't be able to lift me up anymore."

"Why? Ooh, you've evolved.!"

"Didn't you notice the bright light?"

"That wasn't a power surge?"

Upon returning to Jubilive city, Viper ran into Looker.

"Welp there's nothing suspicious here, so I must move on to the next place."

"I bet you my Bidoof that when I turn the corner, there will be bad guys."

"I saw nothing here, so you may lose your Bidoof."

"Oh, no…That would be…terrible."

Just as Viper turned the corner, she noticed professor Rowan and Lucas being confronted by two people in silly outfits with even sillier haircuts.

"Come on gramps, you know what we want, so hand them over or pay the price!"

"This is madness!" said rowan. "Oh, Viper, how's your Pokedex coming along?"

"Uhh, aren't you about to be killed?"

"That's not important right now let me see your Pokedex."

"Viper gave the professor her pokedex.

"Hey Lucas, help me kick these guy's asses will ya?"

"Ok."

One effortless battle later…

"This is a failure for team galactic. Beaten by kids, the boss will have our asses on a platter."

"Actually, I'm seventeen." Said Viper. "But yeah that was pathetic."

"Here's you pokedex back Viper, I should be going now. Bye."

"Yeah, I only saved your life, no big deal. Fuck this shit, I'm going to the next place."

In Floaroma Medow, Viper confronted more of the galactic, guys and easily defeated them and… know what? Let's just fast forward to the Valley Windworks.

"Ok, now that I caught a Shellos named Jelly and did some grinding, let's go in."

Viper tip-toed around the galactic grunts until she confronted a woman in a similar suit to the grunts, but with more elaborate, yet less silly hair.

"I'm one of Team Galactic's three Commanders. We've been trying to create a new world that's better than this one..."

"Aren't we all?"

"But people have shown little understanding about what we do. You don't understand either, do you?"

"Well, I just heard of you guys a little while ago, so not really."

"So, let's have a battle to decide what we should do next. If I win, you leave. If you win, we, Team Galactic, will leave!"

"OK."

The Zubat was easily defeated, but the Purugly was a little bit of a struggle, even so, Viper emerged victorious.

"Ok the deal was that if I win, you'd leave. Good bye."

"Oops! I messed that one up! That's all right, though. I quite enjoyed our battle. I guess it's time to say good-bye and leave for the time being!"

**_A/N: I'll post my current team in the next chapter, because Right now, I'm in Hearthome city irl._**


	3. FUCKING STUNKTANK

"That was boring." Said Viper. "When will the story pick up?"

Viper entered Eterna Forest and found a green clad woman who looked lost… right by the entrance.

"Excuse me miss, can I help you?

"Can you help me find the exit?"

"Sure... but let me catch a Budew and name it bloom, ok?"

After a little while Viper and Cheryl managed to find the exit.

"Great, now I can grind until slash learns Wing Attack."

*insert Level grinding music here*

"Can I evolve?" Slave asked.

Viper let out a heavy sigh "I guess; then, it's back to grinding slash. K?"

After slave evolved…

"Oh my god, you're more hideous than I remembered. But at least now you're half a water type. Ok a deal is a deal. Slash let's go. But first…"

Upon entering Eterna city, Viper ran into Lucas.

"Oh hey, I know you. You're…uuh… Author?"

Weren't you listening? His name is Lucas. You just battled alongside him a little while ago.

"Oh yeah! Hi!"

"Hello. I'm going to see the statue of the legendary Pokémon."

Viper followed Lucas to the Stature where they saw Cyrus gazing upon it.

"...So, this is Eterna's Pokémon statue... Shaping our world are time and space in an intertwining spiral. Revered in Sinnoh are the Pokémon of time and space... Sinnoh's myth... Its truth needs investigation..."

Cyrus approached Viper.

"I am still not a bad guy."

On route 214 Viper caught a Bronzor named Ding-dong, and a Machop in Mt. Coronet named Deadwight.

More grinding later, after slash learned wing attack.

"Time for another gym battle."

"Hi! I'm Gardenia! I'm this town's Gym Leader! My last challenger was this awfully speedy young guy. ...Actually, his name was Chris."

"Never heard of him."

"He told me about you. He said that another challenger's on the way, so that made me antsy! At my Gym, no one gets to battle with the Gym Leader, me, until the end. The challenger has to beat all the other Gym Trainers first."

"Fine by me."

"I'll be waiting for you in the back, Trainer. Don't disappoint me!"

After defeating all the other trainers in the gym.

"You kept me waiting!"

"Well, I did go to the Pokécenter after each defeat."

I'm Eterna's Gym Leader, Gardenia, the Grass-type master! When I first saw you, I was convinced you'd find your way to me. My hunch was right on the money. You have a winning aura about you. So, anyway, this will be fun. Let's have our battle."

Much like Roark, Gardenia was defeated with little effort.

"I might've said it before, but you're really tough! Wasn't it hard for you to raise your Pokémon to be so good? I guess that's a measure of how much you love your Pokémon. In recognition of that, I proudly grant you this badge!"

"OK! … What's next?"

Viper pulls out the script- hey! You're not supposed to have that!

"Let's see, here…here we are! 'Defeat gardenia, then go to the team galactic building and defeat Jupiter."

Viper entered the galactic building only to be confronted by a grunt.

"Hello! It is me! Me! Hahaha! I have startled you, yes? I am, after all, an officer of the International Police." Said looker

"You know, there's someone right at that desk, do you think you can lower your voice?"

"It is only natural that I be a master of disguise. ...Incidentally, you are a first-rate Trainer. Of that, I am very aware."

"You don't know that, I've only been a trainer for a little while."

"I therefore think you will be OK."

"You're just as bad as the professor. Sending kids to do their work. You want me to take down a billionaire drug lord next?"

"But I must warn you to be careful anyway. Also, a word of advice. This building, it has two stairs. One of them, a trap it must be. But the crooks of Team Galactic, they do not appear, how shall I say, smart. There should be an easy way to tell the stairs apart!"

"Yeah, whatever."

Viper managed to sneak past the guards and made her way to Jupiter.

"Eh? Did you want something? How silly of me to even ask. You want to free the Pokémon. Fine! I, Jupiter, will deal with you."

Zubat was easily defeated. But Stunktank…

"Jelly, I am sorry for sacrificing you like this."

Jelly did not stand a chance.

"Jet, I know you're weak." Said Viper, out of breath. "But try to get one more hit in."

Jet was only to hit Stunktank before he was defeated by nightslash."

"JET! NOO! JET? JET! SPEAK TO ME!"

There was no response.

"JET PLEASE! YOU CAN'T DIE!"

But Jet was already gone. Through the tears, Slash, now a Crobat, just barely defeated stunktank.

"*Sniff* Why, Jet? Why? You BITCH!" Viper screamed at Jupiter. "YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS! MARK MY WORDS! "

"Thank you for saving my Pokémon, miss. They wanted my Clefairy, because they said it was from space, or some crazy shit like that."

"My Pokémon sacrificed themselves so that yours won't share the same fate."

"Come by my shop, and I will give you a bike."

In Mt. Coronet Viper saw Cyrus again.

"According to one theory, Mt. Coronet is where the Sinnoh region began. In a newly created world... A world where only time flowed and space expanded... There should have been no strife. But what became of the world? Because the human spirit is weak and incomplete, strife has spread... This world is being ruined by it... I find this state of affairs deplorable..."

"Whatever, non-bad guy."

On route 208…

"Brick, this next gym is a ghost gym, I need you to evolve on more time."

"Right boss."

**CURRENT TEAM:**

**BRICK: TORTERRA**

**SLASH: CROBAT**

**SLAVE:BIBERAL**

**DINGDONG:BRONZOR**

**MACHOP: DEADWEIGHT**

**GLIGAR: FORGOT TO NAME IT AND CAUGHT ON ROUTE 206**


	4. Viper swears revenge

After evolving Brick, Viper started to make her way towards hearthome city.

"Are you going to be ok, Viper?" Brick asked.

Viper started to shake.

"**I AM GOING TO KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THOSE GALACTIC CUNTS AS SLOWLY AS POSSIBLE!**" Viper screamed to the sky. "**I WILL SHOVE BIDOOFS DOWN THEIR THROATS. AND WHILE THEY ARE CHOAKING, I WILL STAB THEM IN PLACES WERE THERE ARE FEW BLOOD VESSELS, SO THEY CAN SLOWLY BLEED IF THEY SURVIVE THE CHOAKING. IN WHICH CASE, I WILL SHOVE THEIR FUCKING FACES INTO A MUK'S BODY AND DEPRIVE THEM OF TAKING A SHOWER, SO THEY CAN BE EMBARRASED. AND AT THEIR FUNERAL, I WILL TELL EVERY SINGLE EMBARRISING THING THEY DID BEFORE THEY DIED. THEN I WILL POUR BLOOD ON THEIR TOMBSTONES! **But yeah, I will be OK."

Viper entered the gym leader room in Hearthome city.

"I'm here, let's battle." Viper said with a scratchy voice.

"Are you OK?" asked Fantina.

"I will be." Viper replied

"Well, anyway. Since I came to this country, always I try to learn new things. They hold Contests in this city? I say to myself, enfin, I will excel. That's why I dress this way. C'est une performance! Also I study Pokémon very much. I have come to be Gym Leader. And, uh, so it shall be that you challenge me. But I shall win. That's what a Gym Leader does, non?"

"Right."

It was a bit of a struggle, but Viper managed to defeat Fantina.

"I am dumbfounded! So very, very strong! You, your Pokémon, so strong! Your power is admirable! I shall honor it with this Gym Badge!"

"Ok, thanks. Three down, five to go."

After a not so tense rival battle, viper caught a Staravia and named it Razor.

"Great, now getting around should be easier later."

In Veilstone City, Viper discovered the game corner…where she's been there for three days.

"Have you finally caught up to me? 'Bout time!"

Get out before you get addicted.

"Hang on, I got a pokeball, here…Ooh a shiny"

Very well…*unplugs machine*

"AAGH! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! How did you do that?"

Now that you stopped playing, you can challenge the gym.

"I hate you."


	5. Ding-Dong saves the day

"Can't believe the author pulled that plug, and left _me_ with paying for the damages!" Viper sighed and said "Might as well go evolve Ding-Dong."

Later, In front of the gym, Lucas was pacing nervously.

"Hey! Viper, are you going to take on the Gym Leader?"

"Yup, this will be number four."

"Wow, you just keep getting tougher and tougher."

"Hours and hours of grinding is the trick."

"Me? Well, I took a look in the Game Corner and...I mean, yeah, of course I've been working on my Pokédex, but..."

"Everything OK?"

"Anyways, keep it up! I'll see you around!" Lucas walked away quickly.

"…Don't gain an addiction. Looker did while 'investigating'."

In the Veilstone Gym…

"Hello. I'm pleased to meet you. I'm Maylene, and I'm the Gym Leader. I don't really know what it means to be strong, or how I got to be the Gym Leader. But I will do the best I can as the Gym Leader. I take battling very seriously. Whenever you're ready!"

"OK. Slash, you got this, right?"

"Yeah, no Problem."

Before the gum battle, Viper found the TM for Aerial Ace, giving slash the upper hand in battle, thus defeating Maylene easily.

"Ha-ha, yeah. If I keep this up, I can actually do this!" *thunder clap* "Sounds like rain."

"...OK. You win. That was a tough loss. I learned a lot from it. Please, accept this Gym Badge."

"Gee, I'm hungry... Oh, sorry, it's nothing. I didn't say anything. Viper, I can't explain what it means to be strong. I don't know how much effort goes into being strong... But being with Pokémon lets us keep making the effort, doesn't it?"

Viper exited the gym to the sight of Lucas pacing frantically.

"Viper help! Team Galactic stole my pokedex!"

"GALACTIC!" Viper screamed ran to the Veilstone warehouse where two grunts were standing guard.

*The following has been censored, because it is too violent even for this story's rating*

"Geez." Gasped Lucas. Gasped Lucas.

"Here's your Pokedex."

"Uh, thanks."

On the way to Pastoria city, Viper caught a Buizel and forgot to name it due to a normal reaction.

*the rules are null and void in the great marsh*

Pokemon captured: Quagsire. Name:Derpy-Doo.

A week later, viper challenged crasher wake.

"Welcome! I don't get challenged very often! The glory you are now beholding is the Pastoria Gym Leader!"

"Don't get challenged very often? Don't you need to battle a certain number of trainers in a certain amount of time so your gym doesn't close?"

"That's right, I'm Crasher Wake! My Pokémon were toughened up by stormy white waters! They'll take everything you can throw at them and then pull you under! Victory will be ours! Come on, let's get it done!"

Despite their valiant efforts, Brick and slash fell at the hands of Wake's Floatzel.

"No! NO! This can't be happening! Why? Why did I not grind enough?!"

Shaking like a leaf and fighting back tears, Viper sent out bloom.

"Do what you can."

Realizing Bloom can't take down the Quagsire by himself, Viper relied on Ding-dong. And just barely won.

"It seems the undertow pulled me under... But I had a great time battling with you! You've earned this!"

Wake handed Viper the badge.

"The styles of battling and winning are as widely varied as Trainers are. Do you want to know how I battle? I battle so I can say I had fun at the end, whether I win or lose!"

"Right."


End file.
